Is there an adult around here?

Some days I feel like I have it all together (there are fewer of those these days) and some days I just have to embrace that life is messy. And I’m a big (hot) mess.

I was up with both Olive and Willow multiple times in the night and early morning and succumbed to the Starbucks drive thru on the way back from school drop off. After going through my mental to-do list I realized I STILL hadn’t returned Olive’s overdue library books. And I mean we had checked them out in September (and renewed every four weeks). When I went online to check them, I realized we’d been charged over $50 in fines. At first , I assumed my last renewal request hadn’t gone through and after mentally kicking myself I went ahead and paid the fine and then immediately packed up the car to return the books (Really, enough was enough already. Why did I require eight months to read “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie”?). The truth was that one of the books had gotten into Olive’s destructive hands and I was ashamed to have to return it as I had never damaged a library book before. I feared “tsk tsk-ing” and eye rolls almost as much as having to pay for the book (which probably would’ve been $20 and now I’d paid $54 in fines).

After leaving two books in the drop box and going to pay for the third, the librarian scanned the book and told me that I’d already been charged for it as it had been marked as lost so it was my book now. I thanked her and apologized up and down and then headed back out to finish errands before preschool was over. It wasn’t until I got home later that I realized that the $54 wasn’t fines, because I’d kept the books for SO long, they assumed they were lost (because I mean really, eight months of renewals to read Disney Pixar’s 5 Minute Bedtime Stories is a little excessive). Which essentially means I’d paid for three books and returned two of them.

Fast forward to lunch time at home while I’m trying to call the library about the books and I’m also trying to put PJ Masks on for the eighth time for Olive, all while Olive is screaming for “LUNCHEMS!!!” (Lunchables). Also because my iPhone’s screen is cracked (because if I’ve spent eight months not returning library books, I’ve also spent two months not getting my iPhone screen fixed). Which is why I couldn’t bring up the buttons I needed to pick “option 3” and talk to a library staff person. I finally lost it and started yelling expletives at the phone all while punching buttons on the remote and trying to tap on the iPhone screen.

That’s when I hear Olive yell, “GAWD! FUUUUUUUUUUXXXXX!”

“Olive, I’m so sorry mommy said bad words but please don’t say them.”

“GAWD!!! FUUUUUUUXXX!”

And then I look down at my phone and realized we were leaving the library a voicemail. And because the screen wasn’t cooperating, I didn’t have the option to delete it.

Today has been a rough day, but I’ve learned a few things.

  1. Do not try to adult without at least four hours of consecutive sleep.
  2. At least Olive learned new swear words AFTER preschool.
  3. Don’t hold onto library books so many times the library assumes you lost them or are dead.
  4. Don’t wait so long to get your phone fixed that all the apps on the phone work except for the phone itself.
  5. If you accidentally leave a random voicemail that is just a ranting adult screaming expletives and a toddler that swears like a sailor they WILL refund you for the books you returned when you call back without asking too many questions.look-me-adulting.jpg

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